The film starts with Trooper Callaghan (Seann William Scott) chasing after a bus that has a strong weed stench coming from it. Callaghan stops the bus and boards it to find Thorny (Jay Chandrasekhar), Mac (Steve Lemme), Foster (Paul Soter), and Rabbit (Erik Stolhanske) playing in their band, Crackling Bacon, along with groupies. Callaghan gets excited as he is a fan of theirs, and he calls his partner Wagner (Damon Wayans, Jr.) to join them, since Wagner also loves the guys. The guys make them mess with each other, like making them punch each other in the nuts and almost make out before they offer them to join the band. The troopers get excited until Mac leads them out the back of the bus to push them out. The bus rides away and the troopers chase after them, shooting at them and hitting Mac. The others throw Mac's corpse out the bus and make the troopers crash their squad car. The bus then flies over a cliff.
This turns out to have just been a dream of Rabbit's, which is apparently a frequent dream. The guys have lost their jobs as local police officers after an incident involving Fred Savage, so now they have to work in construction. They get a call from their former captain John O'Hagan (Brian Cox) to order the guys to head over to Canada for some important business.
The guys drive to Canada and reunite with O'Hagan and their least favorite co-worker Farva (Kevin Heffernan) to meet with Governor Jessman (Lynda Carter). She informs the guys that the Canadian town of St. Georges de Laurent is actually on American soil, so the U.S. government is attempting a turnover where the guys would become the new highway patrol officers instead of the Mounties. Jessman requests that the guys settle the dispute between the U.S. and Canada, allowing them to don their uniforms once more.
The guys attend a rally with a bunch of angry Canadians led by Guy de Franc (Rob Lowe), a former hockey player who is now mayor of the town. Although the troopers try to keep things friendly, the Canadians pelt them with junk, getting Farva riled up and ready to start something. Meanwhile, the guys meet Genevieve (Emmanuelle Chriqui), who is working on the relations between the U.S. and Canada. Rabbit and Farva are both attracted to her, and Farva initiates a one-sided deal where the guy who fails to woo Genevieve has to chop off their pinky toe with a shovel.
A few of the guys try to talk to Guy in his bar/brothel. When Guy and the others think they are about to be shut down, he makes the prostitutes (male and female) attack the guys. Outside, they also get into it with the local Mounties - Podien (Hayes MacArthur), Bellefuille (Tyler Labine), and Archambault (Will Sasso).
The troopers try to put up a sign for the border when a trio of kids hopped up on drugs crash into the sign with a car. The guys make the kids lead them to where they found the drugs, and they come across a shack with a whole stash of drugs. They bring the stash back to the station and begin to take the drugs to see what they are dealing with. Farva takes something that makes him numb, Rabbit takes steroids, Foster takes speed, Thorny takes female hormones, and Mac takes acid.
The troopers continue their investigation into the contraband items but also get further into their feud with the Canadians. The Mounties play a prank on the troopers by planting slabs of raw meat in their station to lure a grizzly bear in there. Thorny distracts the bear while Farva grabs the meat and runs outside. The bear chases him into a porta-potty and tips him over.
The troopers fight back by taking tear gas grenades and setting them off in the Mounties' station. They take the Mounties, strip them naked, and pain them red, white, and blue, and leave them in the woods. The troopers then steal their uniforms and go screwing around town by messing with citizens to ruin the reputation of the Mounties. Guy and Genevieve find out when the Mounties return and make complaints, leading them to distrust the troopers in handling the turnover.
During another instance of buffoonery, Farva crashes a car into a lamp post and knocks it over, only to find another stash of contraband drugs just around the border.
Later, Genevieve approaches Rabbit at the station and apologizes for how she handled things with them. They start to make out and have sex on Farva's desk to spite him. The rest of the guys return to the station later to find it ransacked. After viewing the dashcam footage on Rabbit's car, they see him and Genevieve getting it on while some guys dressed as the Mounties knock them out and abduct them.
The troopers go to a saw mill where they find the Mounties and accuse them of being the ones trying to smuggle contraband across the border. This turns out to be false, as the real criminal is Guy and his band of cronies, who figure they can get away with this if their town is on American soil already. They have also tied Rabbit and Genevieve to a log that is about to be sawed in half, only for Guy to reveal that Genevieve was in on the scheme as well. The troopers and Mounties set aside their differences to work together and fight Guy and his goons. After knocking out the villains, Genevieve reveals herself to be a triple agent, dropping her French accent and saying she was working undercover for the Ontario Police Precinct. They manage to stop the saw before it runs through Rabbit, but one of the blades hits the tip of his penis.
Guy and his goons are arrested. Genevieve chews out the troopers for ruining her investigation, but she goes over to Rabbit and leaves an opening for them to continue their relationship once he's healed up.
The troopers and Mounties gather for a small press conference where they appear to settle their differences and are prepared to accept that the troopers will replace the Mounties. Jessman then shows up to say that the turnover has been postponed by six months. The Mounties proceed to mock the troopers, leading to a fistfight between both groups.
During the credits, we see the Fred Savage incident. The guys took him on a ride along as part of some training he did for a movie role. They see a cat stuck in a tree, and Fred climbs up to rescue the cat. He ends up falling out of the tree but lands on his feet and saves the cat. And then he gets plowed by a fire truck.
Five dim-witted former state troopers are called to action when Governor Jessman announces that there is a border dispute between the U.S. and Canada when they discover that a French-Canadian town is on American soil, which means that the troopers would be called in the replace the Mounties. This leads to the troopers getting involved in a war with the Mounties and Canadian citizens.
The troopers discover that contraband drugs are being smuggled into the U.S. They initially believe the Mounties to be behind the crime, until they see that the town's mayor, Guy de Franc, is the true crook. The troopers team up with the Mounties to take down Guy and his goons, and they are arrested.
The troopers and Mounties appear to make peace until Jessman announces that the intended turnover is postponed, so the troopers won't replace the Mounties, and they continue to fight each other.
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